hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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