ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
