Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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