the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
