eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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