So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
