My hand turned me down
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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