yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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