i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
