dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
