Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
