We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
