i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
