Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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