whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
