What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
