it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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