I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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