You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
