Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
