Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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