What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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