She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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