So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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