got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i think my cat just said my name.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
