One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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