Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He did a backflip because drugs
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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