i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
