bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
