She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
