in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
