I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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