we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
