Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
