Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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