My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
