i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Damn victory sex feels great
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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