do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
