you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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