I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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