He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize