you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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