Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
