Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
operation have a gay friend backfired
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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