It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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