Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
