Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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