What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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