Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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