just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
